Tuesday, April 8, 2014

anxiety and gratitude

It's been a decade, and then some years, since I have been able to sit in solitude, enjoying a cup of coffee, the quiet, sewing - in the morning! Such luxury. Caused by being in between jobs. So also a luxury spiced with a bit of anxiety about the future. Striving to embrace the shift, and keeping my mind open to what the future might have in store for me. Contemplating these words:

Just let go.
Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness.

 - Caroline Myss

Thinking about gratitude. About how much it soothes and inspires to realize a few of the numerous things, we have to be grateful for. To linger just a minute by them, and let gratefulness wash away what's troubling us. At least for some time ...

I'm grateful, that our new 'Hyldemor' is healthy and growing, so she can work her magic and protect our home.
 I'm grateful, that Nanna is healthy and growing too, and giving us many a good laugh.

I'm grateful, that the apricot tree, which I planted three years ago, is in bloom for the first time. Maybe it will even grow fruits.

I'm grateful for the beautiful sweet almond tree I was gifted by a friend.

I'm grateful, that this queen and her family survived the winter, and now is joyfully humming and buzzing all over the garden.

I'm grateful, that spring is here, and for the light, energy and flowers it brings.

I'm grateful for having eyes that can see, and for being able to find so much joy in what they see. I'm grateful when I see a flower unfold, knowing that I can unfold too.


'That nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting and impermanent, is the first mark of existence. It is the ordinary state of affairs. Everything is in process. Everything—every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimate—is always changing, moment to moment'.

Pema Chodron

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

tools and stuff

Tools; knives, knitting needles, brooms, mills, coffee grinders, ladles, bread shovels and pot makers. Good handmade tools, simple, wooden - ageing beautifully, lasts for decades. A so worth the extra price (unless your so lucky to find them used for a bargain). Oh, I love old, worn tools of any kind. Even those, I have no idea about how (or for what) to use.

I had a question about my carving knife, which I'm happy to answer.  It's made in Sweden by Svante Djärv, take a look at his site; there are tools for spoonmaking, axes, chisels and  tools for all sorts of wood working. There are even several knives in children's size.

I've been carving some beads (I think) from mirabelle wood. The variation in colours are amazing, it's quite hard, and they've got a lovely sound. I'd like to make a wind chime from mirabelle. And coffee spoons. And a ring. And ...

We've been shearing the sheep. Some of us are working, while others are mostly relaxing. Maybe I want to be a cat in my next life.

I finally found the eggs that were missing. Somebody hid them in the compost heap. One of the conspiracies are now brooding, having a very hard time to cover them all. Silly chicks.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

the small miracles of life

When unhappy, I tend not to talk about it much. There's absolutely nothing wrong about sharing bad feelings with friends,  blogging about it, or shouting it from a rooftop, but it doesn't really work for me. To be honest, I've been quite unhappy of late, having sadness, anger, disappointment and anxiety dominating my feelings and thoughts. Very exhausting and depressing, I've felt like a piece of clothing on the clothes-line, turned into a giant entanglement by the wind. So not pleasant. But life has it's way of pulling you back, into the flow, in which the overwhelming and utterly egocentric feelings seem to evaporate. Ever so slowly, the small miracles of life pushes you gently towards the realization; life is wonderful and beautiful - being angry or full of fear won't change that fact - only stand in the way so you don't see it.

One of these little miracles happened the other day, it needed at gentle pull from me - and gave me a gentle push in return. All births are moving, but this even more so; I've never seen a newborn lamb being so caring and tender towards her mother.

 Such a sweet old expression on a newborn face

And did you ever see an ear as soft and pretty looking as this?

»The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.«

Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

Friday, February 14, 2014

still here/hibernating

Despite the fact, that a real winter has evaded us these last few months, I've been throtteling down, almost to the degree of hibernation. The lack of light, and everlasting mud wanderings, tends to take away some (most?) of my spirit. But nothing to lift it up, like half an hour of sun, and a short walk in my tiny woods, looking for spore-producing organisms.

The variations in colours, textures, markings and shapes are infinite, even within a single species.

I really felt the need to crawl trhough a magic hole in a tree, in order to be healed and reborn. So I did. Mentally, that is, I couldn't really fit into the only magic hole I have. But as longs as it works, wouldn't you say?
Starting with a very small activity, I found a piece of wood and a carving knife. I carved a ring with two holes in it, one for my finger and one for an old amber pearl, and added a new piece of jewellery to my home made collection. I think I got myself a new hobby here,  pocket size even.

I'm meditating on this quote;

»And suddenly you know: 
It's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings.«

What are you meditating on?

Thursday, October 10, 2013

the art of achieving stillness

'I feel that art has something to do with achievement of stillness in the midst of chaos. A stillness which characterizes prayer, too, and the eye of the storm. I think that art has something to do with an arrest of attention in the midst of distraction.
- Saul Bellow

I've been contemplating this quote lately. It summons up with so few, well-chosen words, something, that is very hard to describe.: The art of making art. - Or is he - more exactly - describing what happens before you actually make the art? Is this stillness, the prayer and the attention, what it takes  - requires - to lead you to that magical place, where you can meet the muse and be granted inspiration?

I also find, that it describes what happens, when you study Nature, and everything that is living around us. When you pay attention to how twilight enhances the blues, when you notice how the light shines through a leaf, and when you become aware of how leaves divides and arranges the light into beams - then it can happen! The stillness and the attention combines - the prayer evolves as if by itself. Maybe not in words, but in the feeling of deep gratitude and healing. Obviously, this is the way to inspiration for many a poet and artist. I'm not an artist, though, but still I sense the muse whispering in my ear, showering me in inspiration. This is the embrace of Mother Nature, for which I am both humble and joyous.